I've got 28 years of Mommying under my belt. There are a few lessons I’ve learned that I know you will be able to use. Check out the first 5. Next week, I will bestow the next 5.
1. You can’t love each kid equally. I know what you thinking. How can she say that? No, I’m not a monster devoid of a heart. Its simple. It is impossible to show love to each of your children the same way, with the same love and at the same time. Why? Because each child is different! I have one child that loves hugs and kisses, yet his brother would prefer I not initiate the PDA. Ideally we want to hold in our heart the concept but realistically you must take cues from your child’s personality to demonstrate how to love them best
2. Boys are different than girls. Oh my God, yes! I thought that this was a societal excuse for little bigheaded boys being bad but now I know this is so true. My girls were nothing like my boys at their respective ages. My girls are 28 and 20. My boys are 17 and 4. My 28 year old was nothing like my 4 year old. This boy thinks every piece of furniture is a place for jumping and diving. She on the other hand was active yet I could actually sit and watch a movie with her. My 17-year-old boy is moodier than his sisters at 17. I think his PMS is worse. Just make sure your expectations adjust accordingly. In this case gender does matter.
3. I’m too damn old to care. So I became a new Mommy again at 39. My birth children are 24 years apart. Yeah I know. LeBrian and I got caught up doing grown folks things. I inherited my middle children when they were 9 and 6, so I’ve been a Mommy a long time. With the first 3 kids, I still took the time to make sure I spent individual quality time, went to all the games and tried hard to cultivate the Mommy/Child relationship. Lets just say this last one will have to work out his Mommy issues in therapy when he gets older. I give him the necessities; food, clothes, school and even some play time, but I am too damn old to get on the floor and pretend to be a transformer. Not! General happiness is ok for him. He doesn’t have to be entertained by me at every moment. He will be fine.
4. Be their friend; but mostly be their Mommy. I knew I was too close to my kids when my oldest drunk-dialed me from the club in her early 20’s. Yep, that just happened. While I am the open Mommy, I really didn’t want to hear her say “Mommy, I’m so F’d up!” I can laugh now but at the time was furious. I have a rule in my house: If you are in trouble, call me to get you out of it. But understand; in the morning I'm gonna get in that ass.
5. I am a Momma not a stay-at-home Momma, and that’s ok. I became a full time entrepreneur in 2015. At that time I was convinced I'd be able of run my bakery business and homeschool my son while continuing my roles as Wife, Mommy, ministry leader, and Old People (parents/in-laws/Godmother) caregiver. Ugh... that was way too much. Needless to say after 2 years of “Mommy play with me” while talking to clients and juggling instruction time with email marketing, I happily paid a professional educator to teach my next generation. I tip my hat to the homeschooling, full time stay-at-home Mommas. Girl you did that!