Updated: Oct 4, 2018
This morning in my time with God, I studied the meaning of perseverance. At first, it made me sad because perseverance means that I had to go through struggles and obstacles. Let me tell you. I have had many of those. I don't want to sound like a pity party, so I assure you I am being more reflective than pitiful. I have been through alot. And there are certain things that I experienced that I now wonder if they didn't happen how would the trajectory of my life been changed.
I had my first child when I was 15 as a result of a sexual assault. Being a Mother at a young age forces you to become more responsible than other teens. Many of the opportunities to sow your wild oats was not a part of my reality. I had a child that needed me to be a mother. While I got the chance to go out and be a regular teen at times, it was always in the back of my head that I needed to be her mother and my actions directly reflect her life. For instance, I wanted to go away to college yet I stayed home and became a commuter student. These choices were my way of persevering.
After my first run in college, I moved to Atlanta at 21 and for two years I commuted home to SC on the weekend to be with my child. My parents cared for her for two years while I established myself. From there I got married at 23, bought a house, worked a corporate career and settled in for life. Who knew by the time I was 30, I would be bankrupt, homeless and divorced. Yet I persevered.
Just recently my husband and I experienced one of the most difficult seasons financially. We felt as though we couldn't get anything right. After 5 years of profitability, my bakery business experienced months without sales and our financial obligations contintued to grow. It didn't help that I totalled the car in the mist of it all. Yet we are persevering and God is faithful.
Today's study showed me that persevering is hard but necessary. And without hard times, I may not have been brave enough to truly seek God. When I wanted to stop, I was able to remember all the times in which God has blessed me richly with loyalty, goodness, faith, and love. Not all blessings are monetary. During this particularly hard time, I have found Shennice 4.3. The girl who is proud to follow God's instructions regardless of what people may say. (ie. yes I am a full-time Mompreneur so not I'm not going to get a "real" job). A good friend of mine, Julia, told me to focus on the heavenly hosts who have sustained me during my times of trouble. She doesn't realize her words are the very ones that helped me to persevere during one of the darkest times. So my words to you dear friends are to persevere through the troubles no matter what. Eat the sour lemon, scrunch up your face, but keep on going. God's going to add some sugar to make it lemonade. Don't let the troubles make you bitter about life. Let God make you better. It's all about perspective.