Transitioning in the Transition
Hey there! Today, I want to talk about a pretty wild phase in my life - it's like a transition within a transition. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, but stick with me, and you'll get it. You might say, "Shennice, a lot of people go through that," but I'm really honing in on this unique stage in my journey. It's all about staying present in the moment.
Now, this "transitional transition" can be quite nerve-wracking for someone as extroverted as me. It's a time in which I actually need to be still and let everything happen. As an extrovert, I want to be in the mix but being in the mix only distracts my process. I'm in the process of becoming more authentically me and this transition is like studying for a test in the library. You've got to be quiet and simply focus.
You know, I'm at an age where I've got a pretty good handle on who I am, what I like, what I don't like. I've put in the work on my mental health and dealt with my past traumas. I'm pretty secure in my own skin. However, I recently went through a phase where I kind of forgot all the progress I'd made over the last five years. It's not like I completely erased everything; it's just that I let a temporary situation take over all the personal growth I'd achieved when I became "Shennice 4.0." So, here I am, transitioning back into myself and having to relearn and recommit to the person I was just a year ago.
It is sometimes an overwhelming task, but as my nephew would put it, I've got to "re-memory." I need to dig into my memory bank and retrieve the boundaries I set, the healing I've experienced, and the lessons I've learned during this journey. One crucial lesson I've realized is that, no matter where you are in your transition or life, sometimes you take a step back to leap forward.
I know it's a bit of a cliché, but I'm living it now. I took a step back, got lost in a narrative that didn't quite align with my expectations. But now, I'm stepping forward, redefining what I want from this next chapter of my life. I'm essentially moving forward from a "failed" transition into another transition.
Sidenote- Every decision we make doesn't always lead us where we expect. We make choices based on the information we have at the time. Sometimes, those choices land us in places we didn't plan, whether it's our own doing or someone else's. Now, it's time to accept those moments of being "lost" and keep moving forward.
Okay, back to this whole "transition within a transition." I'm moving towards becoming "Shennice 5.0," and I'm stepping into a career I've dreamed of. My marriage is evolving as my husband gets to know this new and improved version of me. My role in motherhood is shifting too, with my kids growing up, even my baby turning into a preteen.
The bottom line is, we're always evolving and transitioning, whether it's a giant leap or a small step. I'm making a conscious effort not to have a predetermined idea of what these changes should look like or how I should navigate them. I've asked my nearest and dearest to grant me some grace as I navigate this path, and I'm reminding myself that it's okay not to have all the answers.
In the grand scheme of things, as long as I go through this with faith and seek guidance, the outcome will be what it's meant to be. My friend LaShay wisely says I shouldn't focus too much on the outcome because that can lead to anxiety. Instead i will focus on the process and continue to become the best version of myself.